Those who know me tend to say that I love a free meal. What's not to love? I love food, and I love not paying for it even more! Sometimes though, I pay in dignity, which is ever diminishing in my life.
The year after graduating college, some friends of mine were organizing a dinner for Women in Engineering and had realized that some people they had ordered meals for had canceled at the last minute. Being the hero that I am, I took their offer to sit in on the fancy dinner so that a meal would not be thrown away. A little concerned about my outsider status as a non-engineer, I convinced an even more outsider friend of mine (a male business student also in love with free food) to join me.
Things seemed to be going smoothly as I walked into the ballroom with my name tag that simply said my name and not what kind of engineering I studied. (Vagueness is the key to lying.) As I sat down at the table that I was assigned to, I realized that I was the only female at the Google table except for the Google representatives themselves. (I found out later that the Google table had been the most sought after place to sit in the eyes of those who had properly signed up for the dinner.)
Tiny droplets of perspiration formed at my temples as I realized the Google representatives fixed their stare at me, happy that at least one other female was at the table. I looked to my partner in crime, and he assured me that all we had to do was make small talk and enjoy the meal.
My steady smile faltered when the Google ladies announced that before we start eating, they wanted everyone to go around the table and announce their name, what year in college they were, and what kind of engineering they studied. At this point I looked at their name tags and realized that one of them was the same year and college as me. Oh no. I looked once more to my friend who whispered that we'd make something up. Systems Engineering is always a safe bet, right?
I will admit this right now. Other than being somewhat vague, I am a terrible liar. One would think this is probably a good thing, but not at a time like this. My fear was set aside as I knew my friend would make up his story first, and I would most likely repeat whatever he said. Finally as the table of young male engineers all complimented Google and went on about how much they'd love to work there, it was my friend's turn to introduce himself. To my horror, he told the truth! Just that he was a business student, but at least he was still an undergraduate student!
All eyes on me now, my friend's smile at my inability to lie well was so big I wanted to push him off his chair.
"Well, I, uh, graduated last year, and, well, I'm just here to help out a friend."
The Google representatives' faces filled with disappointment. The male engineers faces' were full of shock. They thought my being there had taken a spot away from one of their fellow Google-loving friends. (It had not, in my defense.)
Well, at least it was over and we could begin to eat. My friend and I were able to talk to each other as the engineers fawned over the Google ladies. Right as we were finishing the first course though, my friend excused himself from the table, saying he had work to do. I tugged his arm lightly and whispered, "Do not leave me alone here!" Alas, his smile grew as he walked out the door.
For the end of the meal, I tried to make small talk with the Google ladies. One went to the same college as one of my best friends from high school, so I did the ridiculous thing where I asked her if out of all the students that were in college with her, she knew my one friend. That was pretty much the end of our conversation.
I am fairly certain that Google will never be interested in hiring me at this point, but I have to admit that the free dessert was worth it.
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you should have said you were a freshman undecided. or at least a high school student with great ambitions!
ReplyDeleteToo bad "Chronicler of Awkwordness" isn't a position at Google...
ReplyDeleteahhh, i remember that day with fondness. you forgot to mention the part where we were eating the hors devours before sitting down and some representatives from some company came and tried to talk to us but you had food in your mouth so you muttered something incoherent and then there was a long awkward pause and then they just slowly walked away
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