A Little Too Helpful

The other night as the Boyfriend and I are making our way back from outlet shopping, we drive by a fairly large Walmart. Realizing that we need a random assortment of things, we decide the Walmart is our best bet and venture in.

While I am a Target fan, I have to admit that the one by my house is nowhere NEAR the size of this Walmart. The Boyfriend and I are marveling at the wide variety and selection of items as we make our way through the labyrinth...I mean, store.

Our most exciting find comes at the back of the store near the Paper Goods section. But of course! Along with my paper towels and toilet paper, I almost forgot to buy my pet fish! Yes, they sell fish in acquariums in the back. As we're looking at the little guppies and goldfish in the tanks, we look over and realize there are several other fish, individually "packaged" in single tupperware containers. And, they're only $3 a piece! I start to joke that buying a fish would be worth it just for the tupperware as it'd be a good size for soup or sauces as well as the fact that these fish are coincidentally placed directly above a trashcan, so no one would know if someone "accidentally" threw one in.

As the Boyfriend and are giggling and joking away, a strange old man has suddenly appeared behind us and starts telling us all about these tupperwared fish, more properly known as Beta fish. Did you know they will eat other fish? Did you know they are good for children? This man knows! We politely listen and nod and try not to reveal that we were just previously joking about throwing one of these precious beings in the trash. As soon as it seemed appropriate, we part ways and continue on our journey throughout the store.

After about 30 minutes or so of seemingly aimless wandering, we make it to the drugstore section and I note the display of condoms (who doesn't notice the condoms? seriously!). Anyway, Boyfriend is trying to show me a new kind that he saw advertised on TV, and while we're standing there, starting at the condom section, OLD MAN appears again!

"You won't find Beta fish here!" he said with a chuckle.

He was standing closer to Boyfriend so I figured he had the response covered (I was trying to think of something clever and still appropriate) but ultimately we both just stood there with really guilty, ashamed looks on our faces and quickly turned and started walking away.

As we made it to the Home Goods section I shouted, "Sleeping bags! We were looking for Beta fish sleeping bags!" but OLD MAN was suddently nowhere to be seen and the closest store employee had a blank expression on his face as if to say, "You're on your own with that one."